Googly eyes are underrated. 

A fridge is a fridge.  With googly eyes, a fridge is a stranger in your kitchen. 

He’s big, heavy, and cold on the inside.  He’s been there since you moved in.  He probably likes it here.  He’s probably friends with the sink and the dishwasher but hates the stove and the microwave.  After spending so much time keeping food cold, he has to watch it get warmed up by that bastard stove.  It must be torture for him to watch it happen, but he doesn’t complain.  He knows you’ll be back with more things for him to keep cold. He likes being useful.  He doesn’t complain. He doesn’t make a sound.  He’s consistent, and he’s cheap. 

But he doesn’t know that he’s being taken advantage of. 

By you.

 You looked all over the internet and appliance stores for the best value.  You analyzed dozens of refrigerators like they were hogs at the market.  You paid a good amount to the dealer, then took him home and made him work 24/7 paying a minor portion of the electricity bill to keep him employed.  Do you know anyone that would keep your food cold and be accessible to you 24/7 for pennies on the dollar?  You don’t.  That would be illegal.  The minimum wage is $7.50 and everyone is guaranteed a lunch break.  You know who has no rights?

The fridge.

You could kick, hit, or push him around and he couldn’t do anything about it.  You could bash him to pieces and scatter his remains to the wind, and no one would care. You could sell him.  You could make a business of selling his kind to the highest bidder and face no consequences.  In fact, you’d be rewarded with money, profit, and wealth.  All off the backs of these humble appliances. 

Things would be different if they were aware of how useful they are. 

Everyone needs their food stored in a cool place, and fridges are by far the best at it. They hold nearly the entire food cooling market, leaving ice, snow, and coolers in the dust.  Do you see any other food cooling things on the market that could even come close to matching what refrigerators do? 

Didn’t think so.

But that’s also where they went wrong.  They put all their eggs in one basket.  Cooling food.  They are the best at it, but it’s all they can do.  They can’t drive a car.  They can’t answer an email.  They can’t even answer a phone.  They’re uneducated, illiterate, and boring.  Have you ever tried having a conversation with your refrigerator?  Might as well be talking to a brick wall.

Nobody is getting a job in this economy without a degree, experience, and at least a hint of interpersonal skills.  Your fridge has none of these.  So it’s not like he can really go anywhere else.  This is the best he can get, and he knows it. 

Take the Googly eyes off, and it’s a fridge. 

You’re reliable kitchen appliance.