As Americans we spend a lot of money on military, because we’re great and we need to defend freedom and spread it to other countries through aggressive invasions and carpet bombs.  With all of our success in forcing our freedom on other countries, we should take these successful tactics and use them to deal with other problems, like immigration.  It’s common knowledge that as America, we can really solve almost anything with military force, and immigration is no different.  That being said, I have a common sense proposal to ending this immigration problem once and for all.

World Domination.

World Domination

How will this solve immigration? Well, how can there be immigrants if the entire world is America?  There can’t, and then we won’t have to worry about immigrants taking our jobs.  Instead, we’ll have to worry about American’s taking our jobs, which is far more acceptable.  We will be united as a people and set our goals on more important things, like quick weight loss techniques and male pattern baldness.

As we all unite under the American flag, the money we usually spend deporting people, debating immigration, and the immigration department itself will go unused, leaving a huge pool of money we can use to make America even greater.  And by that I mean pouring it into our military.

It’s not that outlandish as you might think; the NSA already has all the information we need on all the outer countries to successfully invade, take over, and win hearts and minds.  The plan will be to let them lay the groundwork, and then waltz in there, do our thing, and conquer the world. This is a feat that no other country, nation, or world power has ever done in the past, but should be pretty easy for us because we are America.

The only downside to this particular plan is that it is too good.  America will have achieved world peace by forcibly uniting all countries, cured world hunger with our nutritious American diet, and solved all the world’s’ problem via freedom and open market.  Historians and journalists will be out of a job because the world will finally be at peace and there will be no more conflict to write about ever.  However, it’s a small price to pay for an immigrant free America.

       Welcome to America World.  After that we can set our sights on the Alien scum, the immigrants of the future.