I have been called smart, brilliant, floppy, sexy, handsome, stupid, ironic, powerful, strong, catchy, flink(?), and so many more adjectives that describe people, animals, inanimate objects, and existential beings. I was once called a remote control because my high friend thought I could change the channel with my mind. I didn’t correct him. So now there is someone out there that at one point in time thought I had a form of telekinesis, which should count for something.

You see, what I am good at is what everyone else is good at; beating a dead horse. However, my specialty lies in beating it far beyond anyone else’s physical and mental limits. They lack a persistence and overall devotion to the fad. I don’t just beat the horse, I beat it until nobody else is around. Then I give it a burial, beat the dirt that covers it, wait a few months, come back and dig up the old gross dead horse corpse. Then I beat it some more, take the horse meat and open up a brand new horsemeat shop. I take the dead decaying horse meat, grind it up, add a few flavors, (Ms. Dash is my favorite) and then pop it on the grill. Customers from around the world come to try my horsemeat burgers, with their mouths chomping down on the delicious decayed (but cooked!) horsemeat. It’s only after the horsemeat is fully consumed can I revel in the fact that due to my incredible diligence I have just ensured that everyone in society has some form of the dead horse inside them eating away at their cultural and biological insides.

So now I have been exposed to the internet, a forum that instantly gives me access to the world with just a few effortless clicks. What more could a diabolical mind such as mine yearn for? Villainous words float around my keyboard and they just don’t stop, no matter how much I hoot and holler. On a side note, I am a very devote hooter and hollerer, may the mobs never be at ease. These wicked entities want a bigger audience, and who am I to deny them? I’m really just the medium from which their selfish, undressed demands are made. So with that being said I am not responsible for anything that falls upon this page, or any page for that matter. Unless it’s awesome, then I am totally responsible. However if it’s isn’t, or could come back to hurt me in any way shape or form, then I am not.

That also goes for life in general. Consider this post to second as a lifelong human being waiver. I officially renounce myself from any actions I commit that will result in undesirable outcomes. This renouncement will officially negate any negative consequences against my physical, mental and physiological self for any actions that I ever commit that could be viewed as immoral, illegal, or of poor judgment.